Unthinkable
by Circle of Phoenix
Summary: Character perspectives on relationships and all it's complications


_Aerith's dead._

It was the sole thought in Cloud's mind as he gripped the hilt of his sword. A lesser sword would have bent or fractured from the pressure he placed on the weapon, however the Rune Edge simply groaned. The glow of his eyes flickered against the water as Tifa finished stitching the last of his cuts closed.

With everyone low on energy and the need to spare the ethers, they had few options on tending their wounds. Placing a gentle hand on Cloud's bare shoulder, the dark haired fighter wondered what to say.

"We'll stop Sephiroth." Cloud said, his voice so low she nearly missed hearing it. "Aerith didn't deserve to die like that. She didn't… She was…"

Tifa's heart splintered at the despair in Cloud's voice and longed to hold him. "Cloud…"

His hands reached out, taking Tifa's palms into his own, and pulled her against his chest. Tucking his nose into the nape of her neck, Cloud let the tears he had been fighting fall. There were no loud sobs or whimpers of the pain they were both feeling. Like him, Tifa tucked her head into his hair so she could cry quietly with him.

Aerith it seemed had meant just as much to Tifa despite their attraction to the same man. The woman had been much like a long lost sister in the weeks since they'd met at Don Corneo's mansion. She had talked Cloud so easily into dressing as a woman so they could rescue her and she hadn't flinched to run to Aerith's rescue. How could such a good woman die?

"You loved her." Tifa said when they finally pulled away from each other. "Even if you never told her, you loved her."

Looking away, Cloud gave a stiff nod. "It wasn't something I planned on. I didn't even think it was possible." _Not when I still love you, Tifa. How could I love her and love you too?_

(break)

When they were alone with the airship, Cloud and Tifa sat on a hill overlooking the setting sun. Despite Meteor's red menace or perhaps because of it, the sunset was awash with colors that left them both stunned at the sheer beauty of it. The lingering stolen kisses between them went unspoken of as the rest of the party returned. Once Avalanche was returned to it's full number each of the team began it's final preparations to take on Sephiroth.

Tifa had once last thing to share with Cloud…

"Do you still miss her?" she asked, referring to the collections of memories that Cloud seemed to have absorbed from the SOLDIER they'd both become briefly acquainted with. "Do you still have his emotions inside of you?"

Nodding, Cloud looked her in the eyes. "I don't think I can ever see myself without Zack's memories again. They've become such a part of the person I am now. Yet, I am once again solely Cloud. I know I can destroy Sephiroth, but the things that happened in Nibelheim and before it… I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget again. It's just so vivid, they're not mine."

"I guess the answer is yes. Because Zack risked his life to get us somewhere safe and the entire time… he loved her." Cloud's eyes softened as he spoke of his friend. Just between the two of them because he didn't want the others to know yet. Not about Zack and not about the mix of emotions he was carrying around in his head. "I loved her too. Just as I…"

He flushed, pale cheeks turned red. "Just as I love you."

 _Eventually, I might be able to move past their relationship. But I don't think I'll survive the fight with Sephiroth, Tifa._

(break)

Love was tricky.

In the months following the final battle with Sephiroth, Cloud and Tifa had fallen into a pattern of flirting with each other and long silences. She would hold him close when he strode into her bar. He would press her head to his heart and wrap his arms around her in those quiet moments before the rush of Zack's emotions took him away from her.

He was mourning a lover he'd never had. He was grieving for a friend he could barely remember without placing himself in the other man's memories. There was conflict in his heart and in his head that he could never fully explain to anyone. Vincent might have suspected, but Tifa was the only one he ever told.

Barret went away to work and Marlene stayed with them. He found Denzel, sick with the same virus he felt choking his veins. Geo-stigma.


End file.
